My many travels have taken me from sunny beaches to snowy tundra, but none
have been so enlightening as my visits to the institutions of higher learning
know as the Ivy League.
I have been an honored guest at the campuses of Harvard, Yale, and Princeton
and would like to share some of what I learned with you.
Harvard
Harvard University, or 'Hahvuhd' as they say in New England, was established
in 1636 and named for its first benefactor, John Harvard. Its historic buildings
have served as landmarks since the Revolutionary War. Harvard is located in
Cambridge, Massachusetts just across the Charles River from beautiful Boston.
Cambridge is a cool place to hang out and shop, but good luck finding a place
to "pahk" your "cah." The campus of MIT is just
around the corner so I stopped by there too. I gave those techie-geeks a few
pointers on how to design a stellar web page.
The Undergraduate Admissions Office at Harvard estimates for 1999-2000 that
the cost for tuition fees, room, board will be $34,350.
Yale
It was a cold and rainy day in New Haven, Connecticut when I paid a visit to the lovely lawns of Yale University. Yale was established in 1710 and every year receives over 13,000 applications. Only 16% of those applications are ever accepted. I can assure you that those selected have a great eye for fashion, because everybody seemed to love me in my red parka. 
Princeton
The Princeton Tigers are the home team for me and I can roam the stately campus
any time. If you plan to do so let me warn you, there are black
squirrels all over the place (I wonder if this means black squirrels are
smarter than the average gray/brown ones). Since Princeton University, in Princeton,
New Jersey, was established in 1696 it has been the alma mater to some thirty
Nobel Prize winners (Don't worry I'm already working on it).
Undergraduate tuition costs, plus room and board for the Princeton 1999-2000
school year are estimated at $34,180.
So kids, I hope you're studying hard and saving your money? Fortunately I won't have to worry about expenses. Each of these Ivy League schools, as an expression of their gratitude for my visits, has bestowed upon me honorary degrees in Animal Behavior, also one in Abnormal Psychology from Princeton - I'm not sure why. Just call me Dr. Kylie. Okay, so they were only bachelor's degrees, not doctorates, but that's a mere technicality, I am truly a Road Scholar.
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