As most of you are probably aware, this past summer I launched a full-scale campaign for the presidency because I felt that our options as Americans were sorely limited. [Considering how things turned out in the election aftermath, I bet you all wish you had voted for me.] While on the campaign trail I of course paid a visit to our nation's capitol, Washington D.C. I visited many of the historic landmarks on the stomping grounds of our founding fathers to meet and greet the people of America, and to spread my message of hope for a brighter future for dogs and man alike -but mostly for dogs.

My first stop was on Capitol Hill, where I was dismayed to find that dogs were not allowed! It is this kind of injustice that has been the catalyst for my years of activism {read my editorial on Doggie Rights}. If I were going to be the next president we would finally have a leader who realizes that it is no longer acceptable to treat canines as second class citizens. Cats, on the other hand, would be on their own.

I found the Washington Monument to be a bit odd, frankly. I mean what's the point really? What does it signify? If I were in office I think I would consult engineers about restructuring it into the shape of a bone. I think that would be much more appealing, and certainly more tasty!

I also visited the Jefferson Memorial. I opted to go there rather than the Lincoln Memorial because it seems that everybody wants to see Mr. Lincoln and they completely neglect poor Thomas Jefferson. Which is a shame because it is quite an impressive structure. But I suppose it is a lot of trouble to drive all the way to the other side of the Potomac, even if he was the author of our Declaration of Independence, and one of the most notable political philosophers of our time. If I had been elected I would have the Jefferson Memorial moved closer to the other attractions.

Of course I also paid a visit to the White House, which was pretty nice I guess. But if I had won the election I would make them put the whole thing on wheels. That way I could perform all my duties as president and still take these great road trips.

It seems that if I had been elected things would be a whole lot better, and we could have avoided all these problems. Maybe I should ask for another recount. Then again, campaigning was really hard work. I was completely exhausted by the end of the day. Maybe I'm better off just being the dictator at my house. But I would like to thank all of you who were loyal supporters of "Kylie for President" in this race where there were no winners, only losers.