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Kylie Three-Toes
March 5, 2006 main

Well before somebody calls the ASPCA I wanted to explain that nobody got carried away with the nail clippers, there was no frostbite and no one made a little snack out of my little toe. One day about a year and a half ago they were messin’ with me by messin’ with my feet (cause I hate it when people mess with my feet), when they found a little semi-innocent looking bump. So there I was back at Dr Monica’s office, and the experts couldn’t tell what it was by looking so they decided it was better to be safe than sorry and remove the bump. That was not fun! I had to go under general anesthesia which gave me a hang-over for about three days. And that’s about how long it took to get the test results back. It turned out that it was a nerve sheath tumor – whatever that is… So a week after the bump came off they decided the whole toe had to go! And you know what was weirder than that? After the surgery, my mom took the toe in a box to the post office to mail it to Colorado University!! That’s where they analyzed it and made sure that they got good margins – and they did. So that was the end of that, and really it could have been much worse, I mean what’s one toe really? I have plenty more! So my gangster name is now “Kylie Three Toes,” and for awhile my family was calling it my magic monkey paw, but Dr Monica found that distasteful so we finally settled on calling it my lucky fin. Anywhoo, I don’t even miss it (which is not to say that I would be happy to give up any more toes so don’t get any ideas) and I usually don’t mind when they feel me up all over to look for any other little semi-innocent looking bumps, and so far no more problemos!

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